Abort Ship! Abort Ship!!!

Good morning from the majestic hills of Tennessee!  There were some snow flurries last night….and it is cold this morning!  I feel like someone beat me with Chad’s billy stick.  I am sore from head to toe!  I snuck out yesterday while the Honey and the Witness were sleeping and joined with the rest of the family ….headed to the slides!!!!!  Don’t feel bad for them…. KK already told me, “I am NOT going back to the wave pool and my daddy NOT going back eeever!!”  So, kiss – kiss and out the door I go!  I was stoked! I was headed to the same slide I went down with Andy and the girls….but this time Kelly is with me!  When we get to the top – winded, jelly like feeling in our legs and eyes dilating to the point of no return – we did a victory dance (in our heads – and even that dance was pitiful!! LOL) that we made it! The girl at the top just smiled!  I think she saw our dance 🙂 “Have you ridden this ride before?” she cheerfully asked.  With all the wind I could muster….and the waving of my hand…”No, but SHE has!” I said. Then that sweet, sweet girl had the nerve to say as I was about to head down this crazy tube with Kelly (we were both in a very large tube with handles everywhere) “Well, you will probably NEVER again! Have fuuuuuun!” she yells as she pushes us off!  Hmmm…not bad. I yell out to Kelly that this might be a good one to get Chad on….she gives me a devilish grin ..then…..the drop happened!  OH MY! I thought I was going to throw up!  Seems the more weight you have in this tube…the faster you go and the more “air” you get! I didn’t think of it, but Kelly was going backwards!  Again, me in the direct path of vomit! What is wrong with our family and their notions to throw up!  We were screaming the whole way..then we were shot into the huge cylinder! Up one wall…..down one wall…and it started all over again. I thought I was going to tumble over the top of Kelly and she was sitting a good 4 feet away from me…directly across!  Then I realized that Kelly had her eyes shut the whole time! What a whimp! She was the one telling me that it was cool…it was fun…nothing to it! Hmmmm…this is  NOT the one I am going to drag Chad on!  I USE THE TERM DRAG VERY LOOSELY!

Whew….so glad that was over. However…I wanted to go again.  BUT off to the wave pool first!!!!! As Kelly and I are walking into the pool up creeps a double tube! LOL the giggles started all over again.  Then it hit me. I should have worn another water outfit so these folks would not be able to recognize me! What was I thinking! I begin to look around and make sure there are no posters of us on the walls!

The wave pool was fun.  Relaxing even.  Then the waves started! Kelly on one tube…me on another and Riley in the water. It wasn’t so bad – the waves were rough…but I thought it was going quite well until I heard “Abort ship! Abort – Abort!!!!!!!  What? What is going on? Why is she…..oh my! That stupid suit! I have got to get another one! 🙂  However, the more Kelly yelled abort ship…the more everyone around us looked! Shut up Kelly! Shut up! Abort Ship!!!! Abort Shiiiiiiipppp!!!!! LOL – I am sure I will be the poster child for Wilderness Lodge and I am sure we are going to Walmart today for another suit! But on the plus size….Plexus is working!!! 🙂 

I thought I learned my lesson and yet another slide was in my site.  Kelly wanted to go down the smaller slide and convinced me to head over with her! Okay…but I am worn out from the wave pool.  It takes a lot of energy to man yourself against the pressures of those waves! Many times even riding the tubes would beat you up! So, out of the wave pool I go and trudge my way to the top with Kelly. Again, weezing, jelly like legs…and a desire to just lay out there at the top once we finally made it – what was I thinking? Why am I doing this to myself?! The poor SKINNY guy at the top just looked at us. Wasn’t he just at the bottom around the wave pool? How did he get up here so fast? Where is that confound elevator they are NOT telling us about! I was ready to shake it out of him!!! While I was mentally giving this kid a beat down… to tell me where the elevator was at…Kelly was already on a tube and down the shoot! “She said you need to get on this one.” the kid said. “Why?” I asked.  With a scared look on his face…”because it is dark?” No way! Put me in this tube and let me see where I was going! Stll winded and thinking that my heart rate should be coming down while I ride this kiddie ride down (it’s a single tube rather than a huge four person tube) – I get in the tube…and once I was pushed up to the beginning of the slide…and started on my run down – there was suction on my tail end that told me ….HOLD ON!  Immediately the lights went out and the adrenalin that raises your heart rate even more…made me feel like I was having an asthma attack! LOL – I stayed calm as best I could…but my eyes were shut the whole way until I bailed out at the bottom!  When I hit that water and flipped my butt out the tube…I just laid there. I wanted someone to pick me up in those handicapped lifts they had and put me in a chair! LOL – I think two rides for the day was enough for me! My fair advice for those who love the wave pool….STAY IN IT! DO NOT DO TUBES! LOL – reality is…rest before you go. I am sure I will venture out to the slides again tomorrow.  But today…is a no swim day. I feel like I have been kicked in the butt by a mule!  Dixie Stampeed tonight – that should be easy! But then again, we are the Georgia Clampetes in Tennessee!  

Chad and KK finally made it down to the pool….and I could have sworn I heard a “maybe” from him when I said, “you gonna go down a slide with me this week?” We will see…..we will see! But one thing is for sure – NO DOUBLE TUBES IN OUR FUTURE!

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